Papercut
by ForgottenLuminescence
Summary: Everything he has done that hurt others, that wasn't him. But that other side is never going to disappear, no matter what. Bad summary is bad. Better story, I hope. Songfic. Black Kiku/Kiku. Human names used, duh.


**I am not obsessed with Hetalia. Thank you very much, Hidekaz Himaruya. Thank you very ----ing much. And also, I'm a geek who censors my own swearing XDXD Songfic featuring "Papercut" by Linkin Park.**

**Pairing(s): BlackKiku/Kiku, implied Yao/Kiku  
**

**Disclaimers: I don't even own "nothing", how can I POSSIBLY own Hetalia or the song? Use your brains, people XDXD**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Why__ does __it __feel__ like__ night __today__?  
__Something__ in__ here__'__s__ not __right __today__._

Kiku sat down on the back porch, staring out into the twilight. Clouds floated in rippled lines, painted orange and pink against a red sky. Mothers rushed their playing children home, birds return to their nests and a lazy breeze chased after the receding _Amaterasu_ as if hurrying her to leave. Soon, the dusk made way for night, accented by _Tsukiyomi's_ steady ascend up the heavens. Stars dotted in, one by one, all twinkling cheerfully in their place.

He loved watching this transition for reasons he never knew, for reasons he knew he avoided.

Pochi crept up beside Kiku and barked softly, asking for attention from its master. The ebony-haired nation jerked away from the scene with more force than normal. Upon sight of his beloved pet, he displayed a small, relieved smile. While thin, gentle fingers stroked a furry white crown, he found himself once again gazing at the star-studded night sky.

_Why __am __I__ so __uptight __today__?  
__Paranoia__'__s__ all __I __got __left_

Seeing _Tsukiyomi_ amongst the stars, Kiku's heart wrenched at an old memory people thought he forgot. He remembered, of course. Years ago, Yao and him used to sit on a porch similar to his, and they used to chat about everything that surfaced in their minds. They used to do everything together, they used to be inseparable like brothers…Only, just maybe, closer than that. But then, everything went downhill.

_I __don't __know__ what __stressed __me __first_

_Or __how__ the__ pressure__ was__ fed_

Kiku sighed and stood up, causing Pochi to tilt its head in wonder of its master's actions. Placing his hand on the wall to steady himself, he trudged along the cool _roka_. Exhaustion had suddenly kicked in for no discernable reason, as it always did on nights of full moon. He could laugh at himself for seeming like a werewolf on such nights. By the time he reached the inner rooms, headaches started to rack every inch of his mind.

"You know how to handle it, but tell me…Does it ever work?"

_But __I __know __just __what __it __feels __like  
To__ have __a__ voice__ in__ the__ back__ of__ my __head_

Hearing that mocking tone, Kiku cursed silently under his breath. A belittling chuckle rumbled from that familiar voice, it seemed to taunt every action he performed. With a slowly blurring vision, he fumbled around for the doorknob of the washroom. As soon as he felt the cool metal, he pushed open the wooden door weakly. The harsh white light in the washroom made Kiku's eyes burn, but he could not bear to close his eyes. He knew very well what--or who--he would see once his eyes close…

_Like __a __face __that __I__ hold __inside_

_A__ face__ that__ awakes__ when__ I__ close__ my __eyes_

"Scared to see me? I'm hurt, dearest Kiku…"

There it goes again. Kiku stumbled over to the sink, where an ornate mirror hangs atop. It was made of iron, yet painted over with a shade of gold that had an antique feel to it. He did not have to purchase such a beautiful mirror--at least, not for _that_--but, as with other things that seemed to keep happening to him, he never knew why he did. Stinging black eyes stared at the reflection in said mirror. Kiku recognized the face he saw, it looked exactly like him. But it wasn't him, it never was and never will.

Then, he found himself murmuring those words aloud.

"Oh, you do love denying, don't you? I would cut off your tongue, but…well, you know."

_A__ face__ that __watches __every__ time __I __lie_

_A __face __that __laughs __every__ time__ I __fall_

Kiku reached out to the reflection in the mirror. As the light in the washroom began flickering, he started to see the changes.

His black eyes turned deep crimson, the dreaded hue of fresh blood. His white naval uniform darkened to a soul-sucking black. And the frown on his face curled to a teasing smirk.

"You…" Kiku breathed, his pale fingers touching the ice-cold surface. He was slowly losing consciousness, but he must keep himself awake. He had to, just this once would be enough. Suddenly, the taunting voice whispered into his ear from behind him.

"I'm right here, silly. Why in the world are you staring into that old mirror for?"

_So__ I__ know__ that __when__ it__'__s__ time__ to __sink __or __swim  
That __the __face __inside __is __hearing __me  
Right __beneath __my__ skin_

Kiku spun around, only to find that nothing was behind him. Instead, he was overrun by a wave of sudden dizziness caused by aforementioned action. He leaned over the sink, panting as if he had just run a marathon. Then again, the voice whispered in his ear, smooth as velvet yet colder than the ice in the South Pole.

"Aw, is little Kiku alright?"

_It__'__s __like __I__'__m __paranoid __lookin__' __over __my __back  
It__'__s__ like __a__ whirlwind__ inside __of __my __head_

Disoriented and fearful, the nation felt tears run down his face. He could hear Pochi whimpering on the other side of the door. He knew it was worried for him, but he could not let _that_ anywhere near his beloved pet. If he was able to stay awake just a while longer, then it would all be over. _That_would disappear forever. Just a while longer…

The voice came, still, icier than ever before.

"You're never getting rid of me, dearest. I'm right here."

_It's__ like __I __can't__ stop__ what__ I'm__ hearing__ within_

_It's __like __the __face __inside __is __right __beneath __my __skin_

Kiku screamed, falling to the cool tiles of the washroom floor as the light flickered out. Every syllable _that_ said seemed to stab knife after knife into his mind, torturing him without the escape of death. His hands gripped the sides of his head in attempt to soothe the pain. His screams of agony echoed in the dark room, reverberating off the walls and back into him. All the while, _that_ continued to torment him.

"Stop trying, you're never getting rid of me."

Pochi's whimpering grew louder and it began to claw the door frantically. This happened many times before, but Kiku had never screamed as he did, since he never tried to erase _that_ before. Though it was a mere dog, Pochi could feel it when its master was suffering.

"You're never getting rid of me, Kiku. Never. Never. Never…"

_It__'__s __like __I__'__m __paranoid__ lookin__' __over __my __back  
It__'__s__ like __a__ whirlwind__ inside__ of__ my__ head_

Pain seared through his skull, burning like flames that destroyed homes and millions of lives. Each pulsing sting stole him further and further away from consciousness. Kiku's throat started to hurt from screaming, but he had no other way to counter the pain or keep himself awake. Tears poured from his eyes as the voice grew louder and more persistent.

It knew it was winning.

_It__'__s __like __I__ can__'__t __stop __what __I__'__m __hearing __within  
_

"You're never getting rid of me, Kiku."

_It__'__s __like __I__ can__'__t__ stop__ what__ I__'__m __hearing__ within  
_

"You're never getting rid of me, Kiku."

_It__'__s __like __I__ can__'__t__ stop__ what__ I__'__m__ hearing __within  
_

After what seemed like an eternity, the pain died down and Kiku's screams were reduced to soft, choking sobs. He had succeeded. The nation sat up against the sink's counter, crying and murmuring to himself that everything would be alright from now on. _That_ would not show up again. Ever. It was over, he made it. He made it. Everything will be alright…

…Then the voice returned.

"I've told you, so, so many times now."

Kiku felt a white-gloved hand caress his tear-stained cheek and lift his head up so that he would find himself staring into piercing crimson eyes. A gasp escaped him at the sight of his doppelganger, in all his black-uniformed, condescending glory.

"You can **never** get rid of me, Kiku. We're one and the same."

Soft, cold lips ghosted over his, lingering for a second longer than their owner intended. The last Kiku felt and saw before falling into darkness was the smirk on Japan's face.

_It's __like __the __face__ inside __is __right __beneath__ my__ skin_

_

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_**Amaterasu: The Sun Goddess or, in this case, the sun  
Tsukiyomi: The Moon God or, in this case, the moon  
Roka: Japanese exterior hallway...thing.**

**Me: And I referred to Black Kiku as Japan because writing "Black Kiku" just seemed plain weird. No offense, Black Kiku.**

**BK: None taken :)**

**Me: Alright then. Please do leave a review, kind people XDXD  
**


End file.
